From Melancholy To Meaningful

I have been 'in a mood' the past few days.  I spent most of today feeling kind of melancholy.  A recurring theme I am battling lately is feeling unsatisfied.  I am unsatisfied with my messy house, piles of laundry, lack of organization, lack of time, etc.  Honestly, I've daydreamed a few times about how I would like to wake up, shower/dress, head in to work (whatever that would be), and spend my day feeling fulfilled and productive.  Of course, "work" would be something I absolutely love doing while being surrounded by the most delightful people.  Doesn't everyone have a job like that?

I am especially good at berating myself when I am feeling like this.  And I feel even worse (and ashamed) when counting all of my many blessings doesn't immediately set me free from my negative attitude.  Do you notice a pattern here?  I have used some derivative of the word "feel" five times before this sentence!  How did I forget it is not my right to feel happy, satisfied, passionate, or (fill in your own blank) on a daily basis?  God did not promise me that. 

But the Holy Spirit wove simple happenings in to my day to help woo me to a sense of perspective that I needed to remember.  (I know, I know, you can't wait to hear all about my wise revelation.  But first let me share with you some of the sweetness I experienced.)

Ds10 began his day on a mission to spend the night with his 83 year old great-grandmother.  He even called to ask her himself.  When I asked him what he was planning to do while spending time with our dear Nannie he informed me she is really good at Skip-Bo, and that they could play cards.  I thought that was pretty cool for a 10 year old!

Next, I find out that Ds3 was wearing a pull up.  Apparently, someone in our house convinced him to agree to this while I was out for a run this morning.  He usually screams at the very thought, so this was quite the big deal.  And the icing on the cake - he actually sat on the toilet four times today and had one successful attempt.  There is hope, yet!!

Dd6 was in a super creative mood, and she bounced, hopped and skipped her way through the day.  At one point she "scheduled" a doctor appointment for me that I "could not miss."  She asked me all kinds of medical questions, checked my shoulder, wrote me a "prescription" and scheduled a follow up appointment in three weeks.  She could teach a class on how to pretend.  It is an art that she has taught her brothers well.  Their many adventures in the world of imaginary keep us entertained for sure!

As I was driving back from dropping ds10 at Nannie's this evening, I was reflecting on the treasures of the day, and I didn't feel so melancholy anymore.  And my heart had opened up enough to remember it's not a bad thing to feel unhappy from time to time.  We each have a sense of longing that can never be completely fulfilled in this lifetime.  I frequently say that staying home with my children and homeschooling them is just as much for me as it is for them.  And I mean that.  It can be quite sanctifying!  But I know this is what I am supposed to be doing, even if it doesn't always feel like it.  So, here I am at the end of what started out as a not-so-good day, feeling very satisfied that it was a meaningful one!